They say I am good at frustrating people, and indeed I am. But here's my theory; What would you do if the one who frustrated you talk to you as if nothing has happened? Obviously you won't like to sound like ":D" but rather "-_-".
Well there's a lot going on and I am pissed off at my own self. Cause i tried to be judgmental and i blew it. I am a terrible judge, i would comment. There are things that matter and their are things to which we matter. I just went for the former one. Always. Which, by the way, sounds normal, actually kinda sucks.
Reasons are lame. For instance, I feel invisible now. Even I am sitting between them, I feel as if I am somewhere else. As if, the place I want to be is yet to be discovered and hence I am in the state of incessant limbo. I don't want to talk to anyone yet I want everyone to talk to me. I don't want to tell anyone what's going on in my head yet I want them to figure it all out themselves. I heard a friend saying today 'I am gonna stay away from her cause she might leave in January and then it'd be too difficult for me here to stay without her'. I get it when people try to stay away from you just cause they are addicted to you but that doesn't mean you start hurting them with your 'stay-away' strategies.
And then I have this fight over cake with my brother. Why? Cause he isn't letting me have the piece having one sticky cherry stuck on it. My parents fight with me cause they are concerned with eye bags hanging below by eyes and my cheek bones getting more bony. Am i depleting? I would love to die on my own birthday, did i tell you that ever? And I am now the Class Representative of my batch which I love to be, to be honest. But here comes another issue; Class wants to make a guy next to Class Representative, who is, if you ask me, a complete asshole. And the thing is, now it's like whole class is conspiring against me (along with some people who are supporting me but are too less in count.) But I can't let him be that, cause he's a complete crook guy who will get over my head if given power. Why am i telling you THIS now?
And you know WHAT? Some days back I applied for this sponsorship half halfheartedly so that I could be spared 15,000 in case I want to join International Youth Expo. I was supposed to write about my poor situations and reasons I couldn't afford paying full fee- so i lied. Lied at some parts, well. And two days after, I GOT THE SPONSORSHIP. I mean don't you just love such surprises? You all should come to IYE'11, wese. It'd be fun, given that we would be doing something for youth cause. And we all can be become from pen-friends to face-friends too then.
Animals are indeed a lovely creation of God. At times, when I am feeling all down with migraines and stuff, a glance of my Cat does wonders. I love her (Yeah, i don't like saying 'it') and she's the most beautiful face on this mother earth. Guess what? Once you get a female cat then you actually know how it feels to be a parent of a daughter. I don't like my cat going on and hanging around with Male stray cats who are way ugly by the way, and some of them even don't have tails. 0_- And I don't like when my cat calls all her boyfriends on my terrace at nights and sit with them for long. I mean, I don't want my cat to be in some bad company. That's all. Didn't i just sound like your mother? Indeed. And my cat is the hot-bomb of my street. Everyone is after her. In case you wanna have a look:
Yeah, she's smoke grey. Not white, cause whites are just too indifferent. Everyone likes a change. Everyone like to be with someone who's different. Like my cat. Didn't you just fall in love with her?
I am addicted to Invisible by Skylar Grey nowadays. Probably because it goes with my mood.
Our Pakistani Government announced 10 days official holidays for all the educational institutions primarily cause of the Dengue Fever epidemic. And I am hating myself cause i hate having my birthday in holidays, moreover 'dengue' holidays.
I have stopped eating. Now that doesn't tell I am in love. I am in state of what.. maybe anxiety. I had my MRI scan today in case anyone of you know about it. But that's another story. In another post.
Stop staring at my cat now, you fool. I know she's a BAWMB.
First of all EAT. FOOD IS THE ANSWER TO ALL PROBLEMS! okie so Hogg girl hogg! Being a batch representative feels good but sucks as u get the feel of it. About being a very bad judge, who said you are the torch bearer of perfect wisdom? Things go wrong, but make sure you correct them before they go beyond ur reach and makes u hate urself. Lovely cat!
ReplyDeleteyes she is definitely a bawmb... and yes parents do get worried when you are depleting... when you are not eating and things like that...and dengue holiday...ahh....we dont have these holidays but still someone who is having these holiday told that whats the logic..if there is dengue it will be in homes too...its not like dengue is on duty 9 to 5...kher... happy birthday to you and many many happy returns of the day... consider yourself lucky to have a brother who can fight you for a piece of cake...there are people who do not have any brothers... cheers.... enjoy the Expo... :)
ReplyDeletei think i like both the cats. the grey one and the skinny bony cheekbones one. start eating u moron.
ReplyDeleteand dont open blogger when you are angry and frustrated. have specific blogs for that. blogs that belong to people you cant stop loving. THAT, helps.
and btw, i did figure out what you have in your head :P
Be happy .Cats are adorable.
ReplyDeleteYour new follower
Follow each other .
MRI???
ReplyDeleteCongrats on being the Class Rep =)
I love your cat. What's her name?
she is a bawmb. whats her name?
ReplyDeleteand mri?? =o
and i love that song too. i dont feel like talking to anyone either. no wonder, i deactivated my FB :S
Ok so here's the deal.
ReplyDeleteYou give me her and I'll be your slave forever.
Whatsay?
*SHESOOCUTE*
*staring at her in a non-creepy way*
Anyway, MRI are letters I don't want to hear unless you want to elaborate and say you were kidding and everything is fine.
And for everything else, let go.
That's the key.
Get a cup of coffee, some nice pakores (or whatever) and a good book and park yourself on the window ledge.
Lose yourself in the beauty of everything around you.
Think about how precious life is.
And let the depression lift away leaving only good things behind.
And congrats on the sponsorship:)
man, my cat is like a bheegi billi in front of this beautiful
ReplyDeletecan i marry her,
she is so beautiful, her eyes,
OMG, i love her,
and MRI, for ur migraines?
i need to get one for them too,
in case if any stuff other than normal junk is growing there. :P
10 days holidays!!!!!!!!!
hats off to dengue, :P
@Red: Maybe you are right. Being wrong isn't a sin. But doing the amendment before time is surely a wise thing to do! OKAY I AM EATING NOW. :D
ReplyDelete@Muhammad Israr: EXACTLY MY POINT! I mean what was the idea of giving 10-days off? It's not like mosquitoes are on some time shift that they won't attack homes but schools and colleges. And yeah, i am more than thankful to my God for blessing me with two beautiful brothers. :)
@Raj: Oh you did? So what did you figure out, cause i have been unable to figure it our myself. :P
@Ovais: Her name's Pixie. :D And yeah, i had an MRI scan. It's a long story!
@Mahnoor: I FEEL LIKE DEACTIVATING IT TOO! I think we both are in the same boat. And her name's Pixie. :D
@Izdiher: Hey, thanks a lot. :) I'll surely visit your blog in a while.
@Priyanka: I think I am gonna act upon your advice of grabbing a book and dig my head into it for a while. And, hey it's raining too here to reading it in the window pane would be awesome. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd MRI would be just a joke if thee reports come out clear which i hope they do.
I will be your slave if you promise me to meet me a wagha border on 14-15th august ki shaaam? I will hand my cat over to you. :D
@Ateeq: Hahaha, see you just fell in love with her and i am not liking it cause i am more like a mom to her. :P
Hahaha, i swear i was thinking the same when they were doing that MRI scan. Wondered if they found my upper chamber absolute hollow or maybe with a time bomb inside. :P
komsl i think all the depression and frustration's in the air these days. and tell u the truth, you're right about seeing depressing posts all over blogger when we're depressed.... and i love your cat:D masha'Allah its awesome. seeing ur pet makes me miss my own. my cute little babies. i have 3 parrots. talking ones, someday soon ill upload some pics. they're the light of my life:D
ReplyDelete"I don't want to tell anyone what's going on in my head yet I want them to figure it all out themselves."- I feel like this ALL the time.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like your friend is watching out for herself, by staying away from you. But I think they should at least have thought about how you would feel when your friends started ignoring you during the last few months you have with them :/
I hope the asshole doesn't become Class Representative. That would suck.
Congratulations on the scholarship! Even though you lied a little, but we all do that every once in a while. You totally deserve it :D
Your cat is such a beauty, no wonder all the male cats are hanging around her ;) Yes, I see the cat has a very protective mom to take care of her :P
I was going to scold you for not eating but from the comments above, I gather that you're eating now? Well, good. Or else I would have to use my oh-so-wise knowledge and drill it into your head that not eating= a lot of bad things :P
P.s. i love you and i hope things get better soon and that the mri scan is clear. Keep us updated.
<3
Congratulations on been the Class Representative and on getting the sponsorship =D
ReplyDeleteBuy people to get more people to support you. Money is Might.
OH YOUR CAT IS A DARLING.
I could eat her raw. Yes, with all her hair. =p
MRI? *___*
PS:- I hate stoning people.
ReplyDeleteYou should change that.
Make it flowers instead of stones thrown =p
I was missing you, yeah? So I'm like why isn't Komal/Kryptonite/KN/Stoneheart wali posting?The I looked for you. And somehow your posts never showed up. Dil kr rha ha blogger ko pakar k maaru.
ReplyDeleteAnd your posts are so bubbling with awesomeness that by the time I reach the comment box, I become at a loss to mention what first, what next.
You're epic that way, you know?
oh. my. god. I LOVE YOUR CAT!!!! :O!!!! She is soooooo freakin' adorable! Whats her name?? :)
ReplyDeletebtw, I blog hopped here from Soumya's! :)
Cheers,
Annie.
I can assure you that you are not the only one who thinks like -
ReplyDelete"I don't want to talk to anyone, I want everyone to talk to me"
:D
Everyone feels like that...sometimes...someday. I guess you'd be feeling good by now.
Congratulations on getting the Sponsorship. :D
Have fun. :)