Did you regret when you realized you can no longer climb onto your dad’s lap just cause you are all adult now? Did you regret when you realized that it’s time you were expected to wash your dad’s car cause now you are 18 and it’s time you should take up to your responsibilities? Did you regret when you started getting taunts like ‘So, we’re soon going to hear the wedding bells, haawn? ;)’ from aunties just cause you are now 5’6 and all grown up? Did you regret when throwing water on the table during dinner became a sin and not a mistake cause you were adult? Did you indeed regret when you actually realized that it’s your last day of teenage and all the past days you didn’t care to worth each day just cause time is such a big double-cross?
I love where I am today. But a part of me just don’t want to let go of calling my self a teenager. There wasn’t anything special about it indeed but now, when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t know if I ever want to leave my teenage ever. I just want to die and end it but not hit the big 20. I mean what the hell? Why can’t we realize the worth of something until we lose it? Like worth of a friend you lost but not when you had him? Like worth of a chocolate you ate but not when you were tearing the wrapper off? Like a rollercoaster ride which ends up in just matter of those awesome-st 3 minutes? :/ I want to live one more teenage year to do all those things I could do and amaze the world like Hannah Montana did at 16? I always used to envy her cause I was 17 and she was popular and I didn’t have one facebook ka fan page. Not even now I have it. But still. :p
To save you from wondering what bull I am talking about it, it’s my birthday in a while and I am just enjoying some last minutes of teenage doing the most memorable thing I can so that I can read it when I am 20 and wipe the flood of tears that rule my pupils. You won’t stop reading it right?
I had enough of fun in my life passed but I still wanted to change some of the parts. Like when my bus mates asked me to secretly hangout at some ‘Halwa Purri shop’ in the morning and skip college but I didn’t cause my lectures were important to me. -_-
Like not letting them skip me the academy I went to only for 1 week cause I finally found something I was looking for? Like not letting myself frustrate when I got 2nd in my college finals but instead I should have been celebrating? Like started blogging before and not in July just cause I thought I would make a fool of myself and sound lame to other bloggers? Like not feeling inferior in English class when I still couldn’t speak in English even though I was 16 already? Like hitting Miss Nilofer and bulling her on her face when she embaarassed me in front of the whole class by saying ‘You know what Komal? You can never be good in and AT English. Mark my words. YOU ARE A FAILURE!’
I am not boring you right? There is so much I want to talk about tonight. Right now, with you all. Seriously. I don’t want you to comment or anything but just read it okay?
Yes, I wish I could change somethings back then and not waste my time pursuing high grades but instead enjoying my life a little bit MORE. How the hell I reached on the verge of 19 and still haven’t done anything that may imprint my name in the world even if I die tomorrow cause of some hot seductive dengue mosquitoes who can’t get enough of my blood cause as Edward Cullen says ‘Your blood is like a druuug to me’ to that stupid-stupid-stupid Kristen Stewart. (I think Dakota Fanning or even Emma Watson would’ve been a good choice for Isabella Swan cause Bella isn’t a bad character but Stewart made her look LAME)
I just got done with cleaning the whole kitchen cause Mama isn’t home and she would be mad if she comes and sees the kitchen still unclean cause the Rubeena bitch just ditched us in the morning, and hence I am, as the 20 years old already to my parents, is expected to take up the charge. I mean, doesn’t it suck being 20? It DOES.
I expected a lot of surprises this birthday even though I knew no one was gonna give me that. I hate seeing my other friends in Karachi getting surprises from all of their friends from night to noon and I still persuade everyone to surprise me cause I just LOVE surprises! I know it’s lame of me, or it sounds lame (just cause I am 20 now, right?) to insist everyone around to surprise me cause they don’t, all by themselves. :P I had some f the crazy birthdays back then, and indeed my friends had surprised me so many times with videos, slideshows, long notes, parcels across city, cards, pictures, and some silly dares on my birthday presents, I would be a total bitch if I would not be thankful to them for that, but the surprise I loved the MOST was from my parents on night when I turned 18 and they came up with a Remington ka straightner that I loved a few weeks back but since it was too expensive so I didn’t buy it. (Just like typical filmy scnes when girl likes the ring and can’t afford it and the next day, guy comes up with the same ring:p) But tonight, since the environment of home isn’t much like it is always (You know, post days of some parents-vs-children fight), I don’t expect it to be one of those awesome-st birthdays. Many of my friends including my best friend innocently asked me on my Facebook wall if it’d be okay if he doesn’t surprise me this time and I was like ‘It’s alright man’. A friend last night asked the same and I said it’d be okay cause you know what? It’d be okay. Not every birthday has to be a blassst. So what I wanted this one to be the most special one cause I am turning 20 on 20th of September? I mean the 20-20 coincidence. I sound like a girl being turned down by a rhistay wala guy, no? :P
I will always miss you teen age but at some part of my life, I know, I will learn to move on.
Okay. I am gonna stop talking cause I think, most of you would already have skipped half of the shit I said cause it’s just too long a note man, and everybody hates to read LONG-POSTS! I do too, but not always.
Ab wish karna hai tou achi tarha se wish karna, acha?! (If you feel like wishing me, wish me properly. And a bit differently, not the ‘I wish you get all dreams fulfilled, may you live long’ type crap. >.<
P.s: I love Twitter now cause I get to tweet with Aceytlcholine, Ifra Khaliq, Mahnoor Babar and Hamza bin Ladin/Hamid urf @Baqwaas all the time, I mean I you guys are just awesome.
P.P.S: I am starting Glee now. Chuck and Full Metal next on the list.
P.P.P.S: Happy Birthday to Memona ka chota bhai and Ather Javed. Ather, look at us. We made it to 3years of sibling-ship. Who expected a sarial like me would befriend you? :D God bless you.