Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Hope my Stars don't cease to Shine.

Maybe today i will disappoint you with some of my rants but i really feel like sharing my apprehensions with you guys cause there are somethings better written than conveyed through verbs. So three months back, i got this scholarship to US for completing my semester which was just so out of the blue since i applied without a stone of expectation and hope that i would be selected, but i was one of 300 out of 4000 candidates, who got that much awaited call at their homes. Which was more of a dream to me than reality, since in most of the Pakistani homes when a conversation like such takes place:

Girl: Dad, what if i get a chance to study abroad, like really?
Dad (most of the times): Well, you can.
Girl: REALLY! :D
Dad: Exactly, once you are married.

The dream doesn't remain a dream but more of a fantasy. 

Matlab ke hadd hai.

So such conversation took place with me too, but Allah blessed and after my selection, my Dad actually supported me and drove me all the way to Islamabad for just an interview. Now, the bad part.

Do you realize how it feels when you are selected for one such goddamn thing and you can't help but update your status telling the Facebook world you got in, and then the calls come up congratulating your parents, and then the other moment after savoring all the celebrations, you receive that feared application from the firm telling you that you are an 'alternate' candidate, and your whole thing depends upon 'if' somebody drops out or leaves a seat? Have you ever felt such?

I did. And it was enormously disastrous.

Now i am clinging to one that tiny thread of hope that tells me that i WILL get a call in December telling me to pack my bags cause you know what? And it doesn't hurt me to confess that it's one such dream for me to study 'on my own' abroad. Hell its 7 months or 7 years. I want it to happen cause this is one experiance i will cherish for the rest of my God-forsaken life. I need to know how Starbucks tastes like, or what it feels to live all independently in a country where all you know is, Obama is after Osama.

I need to feel all this. And so much more. Sighs. Hopeless no?
Well nothing in the world can grant me hope or satisfaction than Pheobe Buffay, for now. Want me to share it with you too? Here you go. Thank me later for the laugh.  


I said, thank me later. And yeah, i know. She's awesome. AWESOMEST, in fact.
Have a good day.
And pray for me, if you can possibly remember to.
Carpe Diem. (Well i do worry about the future, for now)


  1. Inshaallah, you'll get the opportunities you want! :)

    Good luck!

  2. Good luck :)

  3. Inshaallah you'll get EVERYTHING you have wished for in your life!

    I'll remember you in my prayers,(And you do the same!)

    Best of Luck!!

  4. well...i have been through these things not once, not twice, not thrice...but i dont remember how many times...once the guy from the ministry called me that i was an alternate candidate and i said ok, so he was kinda shocked that why was i not happy with the call, i told him that i got so many calls and letters to interviews without getting any scholarship that now it does not matter anymore...:)

    lets hope you get the scholarship and your wish is fulfilled...or may be there is something better waiting for you ...

  5. Exactly, once you are married.
    Matlab ki haddh ha.

    Dude. You make me laugh. I love you. :D

    And you know what?

    You WILL get a call in December telling you to pack my bags. You WILL.


    My prayers remain with you. I hope your dreams come true.

  6. My comment counts as five stones thrown.

    Okay? Okay. :p

    I really, really, really hope that you get your scholarship. (Insha Allah, Ameen.)

    It's annoying to post on facebook and then have a turn of events-even for the time being. You hope that no one asks how come you're in America yet and when you're going and what not.

    Try applying for Full Bright. Which you can only do if you're not an American Citizen or a Permanent Resident.

    And, um.. I'll pray for you, but you need to pray for you too. You've probably heard this before-but Allah tests you and your patience, right?

    Cheers. Things aren't as bleak as they seem. :)

  7. Oh seriously you guys are like safe heaven. Like seriously. It feels so amazing to vent what you have in sometimes just cause you can't just seem to say it to your close friends. And then you guys are here! :)

    @Aman and Aman: Thankyou so much, lovliness, I hope i do get ones without me much worrying about them. :)

    @Hamza: Oh don't worry. You got a well wisher here. Just pray the same for me too! Thanks a million for always dropping by. :)

  8. Scholarship toh aap hi ki hai jee. Don't the worries:)

  9. @M.Israr: You know right? That's exactly how it feels. I had applied before that too but this time i was more than hopeful, and i was pissed off at the ministry to not tell me in the first place that i was some sort of alternate piece of shit cause in that way, i wouldn't have made a big deal out of it. I can't even think how you must have felt. I hope that doesn't happen with me, or if it does, God forbid, then i hope whatever you said actually holds onto something. Thanks! :))

    @Ezazi: Oh you. <3 I know this is what happens with us, the girls. SHAAADII. I mean, hell with the 'jaldi shaadi' ka concept. And thank you so much for morale boosting. That really means a LOT. :))

    @Ovais: Haha, yeah i was hit by exactly five stones too. :P And yes, you are right over there. FACEBOOK-adrenaline-rush-to-update-the-status-immediately really sucks, especially in such cases. And afterwards, people asking you about all the time. Well i hope so too that it's just another one of God's tests of patience. Thanks a lot for dropping by, regularly! :)

  10. hey, just stumbled across ur blog. not really i read ur comment on someone's blog and decided to c yours:P

    anyway, getting to the point. have faith in allah

    You HAVE to!
    I know what it's like, my dad would never allow me to study abroad on my own, stupid pakistani families and their narrow thinking :/
    So now that your dad has agreed, I REALLY want you to get in, you deserve it!
    InshaAllah everything will turn out great :D

  12. Oh and I LOVE pheobe, you totally made my day with that video :D

  13. Good luck for that call!!
    As far as that marriage thing is concerned, yeah it's our country system...it's just that way...hopeless and disappointing. Which reminds me of the weird marriage system we have in our country....anyways that's a very boring discussion.
    Yes Phobhe and also Chandler, both are hilarious!!
    You know Friends never gets old for me.....like NEVER!!

    Chandler: "Well folks, I am of to work. If I don't go and input those numbers, that won't make much of a difference!"

  14. country's system *
    Good luck once again!! :)

  15. @the butterfly effect: Hahaha. Oh i discovered your blog from your comment on some blog too, lovely. We all do that, don't we? :P THANKS A MILLION FOR DROPPING BY.

    @PurpleMist: I thought people didn't watch the video or maybe didn't know bout pheobe at all. :P And thanks for your wishes man. It means a LOT to me right now. :))

    @Uruj: EXACTLY. I will someday write a post upon our country's marriage systems as well. They sucj to some extent. AND CHANDLER IS MY FAVORITE!!! :D :D

  16. What? You could have told me this before you write so much stuff here. Not because YOU are my Best Friend and WHY THE HELL you did not tell me. Because I would have prayed for you in atleast every prayer i do everyday :)
    I so wanted you to go ABROAD for STUDY and ? Umm well you know the agreement between us :P
    All the Best. I will say Pack up your bags abhi se because INSHALLAH you will get a call :)


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